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DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20240418T081500
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20240418T094500
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CREATED:20240405T015511Z
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UID:4116-1713428100-1713433500@parentsinaction.org
SUMMARY:NYC-PIA 2024 Annual Benefit (April 18\, 8:15-9:45 am)
DESCRIPTION:
URL:https://parentsinaction.org/event/nyc-pia-2024-annual-benefit/
LOCATION:The Ballroom on 74th\, 337 East 74th Street\, New York\, NY\, 10021\, United States
CATEGORIES:Benefits
ORGANIZER;CN="NYC-Parents In Action":MAILTO:info@parentsinaction.org
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20211201T180000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20211201T193000
DTSTAMP:20211115T145043Z
CREATED:20211115T145043Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20211115T145043Z
UID:3241-1638381600-1638387000@parentsinaction.org
SUMMARY:Virtual Game Night!
DESCRIPTION:We’ll bring the games to you in our first VIRTUAL FAMILY BENEFIT! \nFor family fun that fosters connection\, join us in our fast-paced evening of virtual games to enjoy with your best buds\, kids\, pets\,  family members aged 4 to 99 – whoever is in your living room. No agenda but fun. DJ! Prizes! Six chances to win! \nTickets are limited! Sign up NOW \n 
URL:https://parentsinaction.org/event/virtual-game-night/
LOCATION:Webinar
CATEGORIES:Benefits
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://parentsinaction.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/GAMENIGHT-withDATE.jpg
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BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20191106T120000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20191106T140000
DTSTAMP:20191031T152950Z
CREATED:20190903T041246Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20191031T152950Z
UID:1702-1573041600-1573048800@parentsinaction.org
SUMMARY:2019 Fall Benefit Luncheon - SOLD OUT!
DESCRIPTION:NYC-Parents in Action\nFall Benefit Luncheon 2019\nDate: November 6th\nTime: 12:00 – 2:00 pm\nLocation: New York Athletic Club \nGuest Speaker:\nDr. Alan Schlechter\nNYU Langone Center\, Child and Adolescent Psychiatry \nDr. Schlechter teaches the most popular elective class at NYU:\n“The Science of Happiness.”\nThe course fills up every semester!\nHe has also co-authored a book called\nU-Thrive: How to Succeed in College (and Life) with Dan Lerner. \nTicket and registration information to follow.\nWe hope to see you on November 6th. \nRegister Now
URL:https://parentsinaction.org/event/2019-fall-benefit-luncheon/
LOCATION:NY
CATEGORIES:Benefits
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://parentsinaction.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/image.jpg
ORGANIZER;CN="NYC-Parents In Action":MAILTO:info@parentsinaction.org
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20170510T120000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20170510T140000
DTSTAMP:20181009T012847Z
CREATED:20180917T222132Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20181009T012847Z
UID:1563-1494417600-1494424800@parentsinaction.org
SUMMARY:Mother’s Day Benefit Luncheon 2017
DESCRIPTION:Figuring It Out Financially – Savvy Parents Make for Savvy Kids By Pamela Awad \nWe know there are lots of rules – rules of etiquette\, rules for writing\, rules of the game\, even rules for radicals – but did you know there are rules for making your child a money genius? Beth Kobliner does and she explained some of these rules one afternoon recently\, while speaking at Parents in Action’s annual Mother’s Day Lunch. \nKobliner’s mission is to make kids financially savvy by helping parents make their kids smarter about money. While a member of President Obama’s Advising Council on Financial Capability\, she created the website\, MoneyAsYouGrow.org. On Sesame Street\, she taught Elmo about saving\, spending and sharing in the segment\, “For Me\, For You\, For Later: Three Jars.” And in her new book\, Make Your Kid a Money Genius (even if you’re not)\, she explains how “parents are the number one influence on our kids money behaviors.” \nBrunette\, sporting large black-framed eyeglasses\, Kobliner\, a mother of three\, began by explaining it’s never too early to start talking to children about money. “By age three kids understand money basics\, they understand exchange and they understand value…by age seven many of those money habits are set\,” she said. This doesn’t mean “you’ve missed the boat if your kids are 13 or over\,” she continued\, “but it does mean that you have to focus on those teachable moments.” One of them is to “use cash for kids\, up until the eleventh grade.” Remember your passbook savings account? They’re hardly in use today and most financial transactions are on-line or by credit/debit card\, so kids rarely see cash being exchanged. With cash\, Kobliner explained\, “kids understand there are finite limits.” Children tend to be concrete thinkers and only when they’re older do they understand how each “swipe” signifies dollars spent. So while Eloise may have grown up saying\, “charge it please\,” most of us need to teach our children how to monitor credit card spending. To that end\, Kobliner advises against giving children credit cards linked to your checking account or cosigning a credit card with your child. “Not only does [cosigning] leave you responsible for the amount\, if he misses a payment it will lower your credit score\,” she said. She also believes a first credit card shouldn’t be given to a child until she’s a junior or senior in college. \nHow well do you play the waiting game? How about your kids? Impulse control\, or the ability to wait\, is the trait Kobliner believes matters most when it comes to saving and spending money. She referred to the “Marshmallow Test\,” the Stanford study on delayed gratification\, first conducted in the 1960’s. The premise was simple: a group of 5 year–olds were given the choice to eat one marshmallow immediately or wait 15 minutes and get two marshmallows later. The children’s ability to delay eating the first treat was a predictor of how well they did later in life; those who waited had higher SAT scores\, lower body masses and were better adapted socially. Kobliner explained how the children who waited had “the skill and technique to divert their attention\,” traits that can be taught to children\, “if you set a goal and have them work toward it.” Helping children understand it’s worth the wait may be worth its weight in gold – learning the skills associated with impulse control makes kids better savers and spenders. That applies to compound interest too\, (the longer you wait for your money to compound\, the faster it grows.) \nRegarding allowance\, Kobliner advises parents to do what works best for them. “The bottom line is\, it doesn’t matter if you give your kid a formal allowance or not\, to teach them to be good financial citizens\,” she said. If you decide allowance is how you want to allocate money\, Kobliner suggests parents follow a few rules: \nBe clear – Discuss what this money is to be used for. For example\, is allowance to be used for all Ubers or Ubers after midnight; for ordering in using Seamless; for or all meals out with friends or for clothes above the basics that you provide? \nBe consistent – “Stick with what you say\,” Kobliner warned. She advises parents to be realistic and factor in as many variables as they can think of when deciding the amount of allowance. This makes it easier to avoid inconsistencies. \nUse cash and give control – Determine how much money you’re comfortable giving your kids but give them the freedom to control how they spend their money. \nDon’t make allowance dependent upon household chores or grades. Making one’s bed or emptying the dishwasher is a fact of life. And there’s intrinsic value to working; kids need to learn to work hard because they care about doing well not because there will be a financial reward. \nA child’s most important financial decision is college\, another of Kobliner’s basic tenets\, and she believes parents should start talking to kids about college by the end of the eighth grade. “A college degree has never been more valuable; it’s a great investment and the most important thing you can do to make a child a money genius\,” she said. But “you don’t have to be a money genius to make your child one\,” she continued\, “modeling good behavior is a good idea\,” and of course\, talking to your kids is invaluable. Among her “money tips for talking”: \n1) Keep money talks age appropriate. \n2) Talk to your girls as well as your boys about money. (Studies have shown that even today parents talk to their sons about money more than their daughters. \n3) Keep money fights behind closed doors. \n4) If you’re philanthropic\, talk to your kids about how you’re giving\, why and to whom. \n5) DON’T tell your kids how much you earn\, what your net worth is\, or how much you have in savings. Letting them know you “have enough” is enough. \n6) DON’T let your kids know how much you pay the housekeeper\, babysitter or nanny. That kind of knowledge negatively empowers a child and cedes the caregiver’s authority. \n“Teach children and you teach the parents\,” Kobliner said. A solid financial future is in everyone’s best interest. \n\nYou can find her on Twitter and Facebook @bethkobliner.\nFor more on Beth Kobliner’s book\, please visit: www.bethkobliner.com/moneygenius.\nWatch her video here:\nPBS NewsHour with Paul Solman\nABC Good Morning America/Interview
URL:https://parentsinaction.org/event/mothers-day-benefit-luncheon-2017/
LOCATION:Colony Club\, 564 Park Avenue\, New York\, NY\, 10065\, United States
CATEGORIES:Benefits
ORGANIZER;CN="NYC-Parents In Action":MAILTO:info@parentsinaction.org
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20161110T120000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20161110T140000
DTSTAMP:20181009T012847Z
CREATED:20180917T220129Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20181009T012847Z
UID:1547-1478779200-1478786400@parentsinaction.org
SUMMARY:Fall 2016 PIA Benefit Luncheon
DESCRIPTION:The Risky Business of Risky Drinking By Pamela Awad \nTowards the middle of November\, days after the surprising results of the presidential election\, Perri Peltz and Dr. Carrie Wilkens talked about their new documentary Risky Drinking\, to be aired this January on HBO. The film’s about alcohol use disorder and “was born of people asking\, ‘I drink at night and I only drink red wine and I never drink on Sundays…am I OK?’’ Ms. Peltz said. “We started hearing that question so much\, that’s what gave birth to this film.” The two\, who spoke at the annual fall benefit lunch on behalf of Parents in Action\, explained that alcohol use disorder is best described on a spectrum. In answer to the question\, “Do I have a problem?” the film profiles four people along the alcohol use disorder spectrum. \nRisky Drinking is co-produced by HBO\, the National Institute of Health (NIH) and the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAA). Peltz is the mother of three boys and a well- known media presence in New York. She’s reported for NBC\, ABC\, CNN\, has been an anchor on a number of networks and is a public health advocate. Carrie Wilkens\, Ph.D.\, is one of the featured experts in the film. She’s the Co-Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Motivation and Change in NYC and in the Berkshires\, and is the co- author of two books about addiction\, Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change and The 20 Minute Guide: A Guide for Parents about How to Help their Child Change their Substance Use. \nTwo five- minute clips from the film were played\, the first profiling a 26 year-old woman from Denver\, Colorado\, who binge drinks. The segment follows her\, hour-by-hour\, one night over Halloween weekend. Ms. Peltz introduced the segment by saying this young woman did not consider herself to have a drinking problem; the subject went on to describe why she drinks before going out. “Drinking definitely eases the dating world\, the whole point of drinking is to turn off your brain for once and not think of anything. I didn’t drink at all this week knowing I was going to drink a ton this weekend.” The film follows her through the night as she consumes somewhere near sixteen drinks (the amount of alcohol in each shot or drink is hard to determine)\, including vodka\, vodka jello shots\, tequila\, whisky and beer. Around 1:30 in the morning we see her sobbing while apologizing to a friend who brings her home. \nThe second clip follows a group of stay-at-home moms from Fayetteville\, Arkansas who found each other through the blog\, “momwhodrinksandcusses.” “We started doing Happy Hour every Thursday\,” one said. “It’s like a therapy session. We get together and we drink wine.” For them drinking is bonding\, and the pleasure the friends take in drinking and drinking with each other is evident. Some of the exchanges between the mothers in the film were greeted with recognizable laughter from the audience\, most of who were also mothers. But the seductiveness of alcohol to ease the tedium\, frustration and challenges of raising children\, sometimes alone\, is cause for concern. Ms. Peltz said the segment was originally intended to represent alcohol use disorder at the beginning of the spectrum but when one friend asks\, “What do you do when one of your friends seems like they’re in trouble? How do you know when things have gone too far?” it’s clear the solace found in drinking can tip towards alcohol abuse. The troubled mother says\, “I know without alcohol who I want to be\, I want to be Oprah…I want to be amazing\, I want to be a rock star. When I drink I’m not that awesome and I don’t remember. You think I’d stop.” Towards the end of the segment she says\, “ Drinking impacts my relationship with my kids. I want to be able to moderate. I want to be able to function. I don’t feel like I’m doing a very good job at functioning right now\, (but) I don’t think I want to be completely sober.” As described by Ms. Peltz\, the remaining segments of the film feature stories about a 59-year-old man “well on his way to becoming a full blown alcoholic\,” and an end stage alcoholic who has been in and out of detox thirteen times over the course of two years. \nAfter the film clips the women talked about alcohol use and binge drinking\, which has been normalized to some extent\, but greatly affects decision-making and risk-taking behaviors. Ms. Peltz pointed out that men and women process alcohol in very different ways. “We can get drunker faster\,” she said. “Women have more fat in their bodies while men have more water\,” explained Dr. Wilkens. Because women also lack the stomach enzyme that helps the body process alcohol it becomes more concentrated in women’s bodies. Estrogen seems to play a role too; taken all together long term alcohol use poses greater risks to women’s health in general – their organs break down faster\, leading to breast cancer and other diseases. \nIn response to a question from the audience Dr. Wilkens defined drinking level limits. For women\, low risk drinking is “no more than three drinks on any one occasion during a week for a total of seven drinks. For men\, low-risk drinking means up to fourteen drinks a week and no more than four drinks on any one occasion. Binge drinking consists of four drinks in one setting for women and five drinks in one setting for men “or a .08 blood alcohol concentration that is typically reached after four or five drinks within a two-hour period\,” said Dr. Wilkens. She continued\, “Intoxication is determined by the rate you consume and how big you are. Little girls can react differently to the same number of shots than the 6’2” guy next to her. She’s probably going to get drunker.” \nWill college kids develop drinking problems? “Their drinking is so out of control\, so off the spectrum we don’t know if they’ll develop a drinking problem\,” said Ms. Peltz. Dr. Wilkens added\, “People will say if he’s drinking like that in college isn’t he destined to become an alcoholic? In reality most (college kids) grow out of it\, they just stop\, life gets more complicated and they go back to normal drinking.” \n“Part of what you’re trying to do as a parent is protect your kid’s developing brain\,” said Dr. Wilkens. “The brain’s a fragile thing and anything you can do as a parent to keep drugs and alcohol out of that brain\, so it can develop\, is a good thing.” As a young person\, “You’re also learning so many things\, you’re learning how to interact with people\, you’re learning your physical and emotional boundaries you’re learning how to take care of yourself\, what you can accomplish\,’ she said. The take away: when you’re young\, learning can be disrupted by choosing substances; when you’re older\, by choosing substances you can disrupt your life.
URL:https://parentsinaction.org/event/fall-2016-pia-benefit-luncheon/
LOCATION:NY
CATEGORIES:Benefits
ORGANIZER;CN="NYC-Parents In Action":MAILTO:info@parentsinaction.org
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20160511T120000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20160511T140000
DTSTAMP:20181009T012847Z
CREATED:20180917T214537Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20181009T012847Z
UID:1539-1462968000-1462975200@parentsinaction.org
SUMMARY:Mother's Day Benefit 2016 with Gretchen Rubin
DESCRIPTION:Becoming Better than Before By Pamela Awad \nDo you eat the fabulous artisanal chocolate bar one square at a time over the course of a week or do you eat it all at once? If you eat it all at once\, indulging moderately is unimaginable\, and Gretchen Rubin would label you an “abstainer” – it’s all or none – having something only makes you want it more. At this year’s PIA Mother’s Day lunch held Wednesday\, May 11\, Ms. Rubin talked about the differences between abstainers and moderators\, Upholders\, Questioners\, Rebels and Obligers; all tendencies that have profound implications for making and breaking habits.\n \nOf course it’s much more fun to change someone else’s habits\, but there are a few strategies (21 to be exact) you can use to make or break your own. Start with that Ancient Greek aphorism “know thyself\,” which means if you’re a night owl don’t try getting up two hours earlier to accomplish a challenging task. “Set up a habit in a way that will work for you\,” said Ms. Rubin. Then give yourself treats (the most fun strategy!) unless they’re one of the three forbidden ones: food and/or drink\, shopping or screen time. While one person’s treat is surely another’s idea of torture\, Ms. Rubin described a friend’s treat that’s probably a universal delight. Every morning her friend gets up for work\, gets her family up and out the door and once they’ve left she returns to bed\, fully dressed\, for twenty minutes. A perfect example of Ms. Rubin’s belief that if we “give more to ourselves\, we can ask more of ourselves.” \nRemember when you were young and your mother would tell you to make your bed? That’s the number one habit that “people say make them happier\, healthier and more efficient\,” says Ms. Rubin. “Outer order contributes to inner health and more initiative.” (Seems like our mothers were right about almost everything.) So in the context of creating a happy life\, the crowded coat closet may be trivial but a bit of order gives the illusion of control. She recommends the “one minute rule” – hang up the coat\, throw out the old newspapers\, do anything you can do in one minute – to “help keep clutter at bay.” And to avoid the “danger of the finish line” she says we should think about milestones when setting up habits rather than setting goals. “Setting goals is a great way to meet a goal but can undermine habits. Crossing the finish line means you’re finished\,” she said. “The way to think about habits as a behavior you want to do indefinitely is to think about a milestone. Finish lines can disrupt habits.” \nThere’s a framework to Ms. Rubin’s philosophy built around “Four Tendencies” as explained in her latest book\, Better Than Before. The Tendencies describe our propensity to respond to expectations\, both outer (deadlines\, work expectations) and inner (our internal desire to keep a resolution\, for example). Upholders meet both outer and inner expectations\, Questioners resist outer expectations and meet inner ones\, Obligers meet outer expectations but resist inner ones and Rebels\, those with and without a cause\, resist both. It’s like a Myers-Biggs type personality indicator with Rebels a “small but conspicuous group\,” and Upholders the “freaky fringe.” Overwhelmingly “people are Questioners and Obligers\,” says Ms. Rubin\, Obligers being the ‘type O’ who play best with other Tendencies. \nHere’s a bird’s eye view of each Tendency: \nUpholders: While meeting those outer and inner expectations Upholders can be unsympathetic; “they’re harsh on other people because they don’t understand why they may have trouble following through on expectations.” Ms. Rubin went on the describe Upholders as sometimes experiencing “tightening” – for most people rules loosen up over time\, for Upholders rules can become confining. \nQuestioners: Questioners need justification or a rationale for why it’s important to do something. They’re focused but can “drain people with persistent questions\,” explains Ms. Rubin. Questioners love information but can suffer from “analysis paralysis”; the need for more and more information sometimes renders them immobile. \nObligers: The “rocks of the world\,” Obligers should pattern their behavior for external accountability. They so consistently meet outside expectations that they exhibit a “striking pattern of Obliger rebellion\,” says Ms. Rubin. ‘Everyone exploits Obligers; Rebels\, Upholders and Questioners all take advantage of them.” These are the overachievers of meeting expectations and Obligers may suddenly “snap” as meeting great expectations can cause deep resentment or burn out. \nRebels: “Exhilarating to be around\,” Rebels think outside the box “but don’t ignite their spirit of resistance\,” warns Ms. Rubin. Rebels “want to act from choice and freedom and from a sense of identity and they don’t want to feel controlled.” They want to be given information\, have the consequences explained to then and be provided a choice. Beware the parent who has a Rebel child; the simple act of putting on sunscreen can become a test of wills. \nThe Tendencies all lead to making and breaking habits. “By knowing the pros and cons of tendency you can figure out with age and wisdom how to take advantage of the strengths and box the limitations\,” said Ms. Rubin. “In the context of a happy\, healthy\, productive\, creative life it really is helpful to think about your habits because in the end if you change your habits you can change your life.” So for all of us – Upholders and Rebels\, Obligers and Questioners – a happy life isn’t so hard to find; the keys to the kingdom lie within us. \n  \nGretchen Rubin is the author of The Happiness Project and most recently Better Than Before. She has a weekly podcast entitled Happier with Gretchen Rubin.
URL:https://parentsinaction.org/event/mothers-day-benefit-2016-with-gretchen-rubin/
LOCATION:NY
CATEGORIES:Benefits
ORGANIZER;CN="NYC-Parents In Action":MAILTO:info@parentsinaction.org
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20151111T120000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20151111T140000
DTSTAMP:20181009T012847Z
CREATED:20180917T213059Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20181009T012847Z
UID:1534-1447243200-1447250400@parentsinaction.org
SUMMARY:Fall Benefit 2015 with Frank Bruni
DESCRIPTION:Frank Bruni Wows Parents at PIA Fall Benefit By Pamela Awad \nAnyone you know applying to college? \nFew situations are as charged as the admissions process\, and application mania\, while a treatable condition\, is a recognizable disorder that afflicts many high school students and their parents. Our preoccupation with elite schools\, and how that squares with our definition of success\, was at the heart of Frank Bruni’s talk to those attending NYC-Parents in Actions annual fall benefit lunch\, earlier this month. “Where You Go is Not Who You’ll Be\,” is the title of Bruni’s most recently published book\, and his address to the crowd of mostly mothers argued his impassioned stance.\n \n\n\nTo great laughter\, Bruni\, wearing a lavender button down shirt and blazer\, described his own family’s academic aspirations. “The sound track of my adolescence was my mother driving along reading the car stickers aloud (indicating the schools children were attending) and commenting ‘Duke\, Dartmouth\, Stanford\, Oh! They did really well’.” So while acceptance to an elite school (a school having the most restrictive admissions criteria and lowest acceptance rate) has always been a goal for many students\, today the process is\, in Bruni’s words\, “exponentially more intense than a quarter of a century ago.” He believes this is true in part because\, “we have selective conversations and we tell selective truths. We see stories about how every Supreme Court judge is touched by ivy\,” he said\, “but you never hear that only one third of the men and women in the Senate went to elite schools.” “Want to be Secretary of State?” he asked. “Start as a failed piano major\,” like Condoleezza Rice whose undergraduate degree is from the University of Denver. Bruni reminded the audience that we forget “there are any number of kinds of educational paths that get you to distinction\, accomplishment\, success\, contentment.” He researched where the MacArthur ‘Genius Grant’ award winners went to school and found that one in five “graduated from colleges with acceptance rates of over 50%\,” furthering his argument that geniuses aren’t determined by where they went to school but rather\, by “how your college education shapes you.” \nFor some\, getting in to an Ivy is the ultimate achievement\, as Bruni illustrated with a story about his stint teaching a food-writing seminar at Princeton. Puzzled that his students’ written letters of application to the course were far more eloquent than their actual work\,he consulted other Princeton faculty. “Getting through the door is the achievement\,” they said. “These students today have prioritized getting in to exclusive realms.” It seems to matter less what they do once they’re inside the classroom\, an unfortunate circumstance since Bruni argues selectiveness doesn’t equal quality\, a lower acceptance rates doesn’t make a better school\, and attendance at an elite school doesn’t ensure contentment. \nAh\, contentment; want your children to be happy for the rest of their lives? Bruni cited the Gallop Purdue Index\, an ongoing and comprehensive survey of college graduates that seeks to measure the most important outcomes of a college education\, that is\, do graduates feel they have a successful and engaging career and are they thriving in life? The study found “virtually no relationship between the selectiveness of the schools that people go to and how contented they report being later on.” What did matter was a relationship with a mentor\, being actively involved in extracurricular activities or in a project that took at least a semester to finish\, or having an internship that related to a student’s studies. Contentment and self perceived success later in life is closely tied to a student’s engagement in the college experience. \nWhich begs the question\, “Is there a profound difference between elite and non-elite schools?” And if there is\, what are the costs\, process and risks along the way? Bruni told a story of orange vested safety workers on suicide watch at railroad crossings in Palo Alto. “Our achievement oriented society produces unusual levels of anxiety and depression\,” he said. We feed into that when we talk about one school being more desirable than another\, or when we encourage kids to follow a prescribed route\, the goal being acceptance at the most selective college of their choice. “We’re telling (our children) that calculation matters more than passion\, that packaging matters more than substance and that life yields to tidy scripts and can be predicted and gamed out\, which is simply not true.” He quoted noted Swarthmore psychology professor Barry Schwarz who said\, “Kids today (versus students 25 or 30 years ago) want to be given a clear and unambiguous path to success\, a recipe. And that’s the wrong thing to be wanting. Progress isn’t made by a recipe\, recipes create cooks\, and they don’t produce chefs!” There’s no formula for becoming “accomplished\, content\, interesting adults” Bruni said\, “When we sketch everything out for kids we don’t allow for serendipity\, surprise\, u-turns\, digressions\,” the things that enrich our day to day lives. \nBruni holds a degree from UNC Chapel Hill as a Morehead Scholar\, but describes himself as the “skunk at the sticker garden party” when comparing himself to his siblings. He chose Chapel Hill over Yale and for him that’ s made all the difference. “Chapel Hill gave me a better sense of what the real world is; I think that’s an important component of education.” It also gave him the perspective to ask profound questions about the value of education and question the assumptions that come with a degree from an Ivy League or elite school. How does a successful life happen? In his words\, “there is no “magic fairy dust” that elite schools sprinkle over their students. “Success is that special combination of doing what you love and what you’re good at. Taking time to (find out) what that is\, is very important.” “Being the kind of person from the kind of background where you have the curiosity\, the ambition\, the faith in yourself\, the exposure to the world that led you to be aware of and to apply to an elite school” (regardless of whether you’re accepted or choose to go) suggests where you go\, is not who you’ll be.
URL:https://parentsinaction.org/event/fall-benefit-2015-with-frank-bruni/
LOCATION:NY
CATEGORIES:Benefits
ORGANIZER;CN="NYC-Parents In Action":MAILTO:info@parentsinaction.org
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20150511T120000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20150511T140000
DTSTAMP:20181009T012847Z
CREATED:20180917T212254Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20181009T012847Z
UID:1531-1431345600-1431352800@parentsinaction.org
SUMMARY:Mother's Day Benefit 2015
DESCRIPTION:Social Studies: The Skills That Bring Success by Pamela Awad\n \nSix weeks ago Faye de Muyshondt’s second child\, Oliver\, was born; six years ago she gave birth to socialsklz:-). Before Oliver came marriage and a baby daughter; with socialsklz:-) came books\, a website\, workshops\, and a unique way of giving young people the social interaction and communication\, or “life\,” skills they may lack. On the second Monday of May\, Ms. de Muyshondt spoke at Parents in Action’s annual Mother’s Day lunch. Social skills\, dubbed by a CASEL study “the missing piece in American education\,” are what de Muyshondt calls essential “skills to use every day” and the foundation for “every single thing we do.” She believes they build self- esteem and confidence\, affect our life drastically and are vital to success in today’s fast paced\, technological world.\n\n \n  \nThe seeds of socialsklz:-) were sown when Ms. de Muyshondt began teaching a workshop entitled “The Brand Called You” at NYU’s Steinhardt School. She realized first impressions\, body language\, and conversational skills (among other social “niceties”) impacted\neverything from young adults’ abilities to effectively interview for a job\, to children’s success on the playground\, in the classroom\, and in the world at large. Adapting these lessons to workshops for children of varying ages\, she developed a list of social skills for success and in front of our 200 or so assembled guests\, shared five of the ones she feels all children need in their “toolkit for life.” \n  \nWith enthusiasm\, props\, and body language\, Ms. Muyshondt enlightened the audience about first impressions. Asking\, “How do you want to come across?” she noted that “your non-verbal impression has the most impact; you decide what goes into your first impression.” She mimed entering a room in an uneasy manner and then a confident one\, and said that when asked\, most people\, whether aged 5 or 50\, indicate they’d like to come across as “happy\, friendly\, polite\, and eager.” She explained how eye contact\, facial gestures\, and body language contribute to that all-important non-verbal first impression\, and then spoke about a “proper handshake.” Offering the audience the tips of her fingers\, she advised against the “Queen’s shake\,” a fingertips-only half-shake. She then donned a pair of latex gloves with Velcro attached to the “web” of each hand (between thumb and forefinger) to demonstrate the “web-to-web” shake. She explained how she asks students in her class to put on the gloves and shake hands with each other. When they shake properly\, students’ hands stick together\, web to web. Readers take note: parents don’t always pass the test. \n  \n“Teaching a child what to say when meeting someone is an important verbal skill\,” said Ms. de Muyshondt\, and another one for the toolkit. Properly introducing yourself and properly addressing the person to whom you are speaking are the beginnings of positive social interaction. Starting the conversation can be tricky too. Ms. de Muyshondt explained that conversational skills come with practice and are as important to life as they are to good verbal first impressions. She recommended having three questions at the ready that can be used as conversation starters. Good examples include: “How are you?” “Are you enjoying the spring weather?” “What are your weekend plans?” “Being armed with knowledge and confidence\, having those three questions you can ask anybody is empowering before you embark on a social situation\,” she said. Ms. de Muyshondt showed the audience a small rubber ball and described the “Conversation Skills Game\,” a two-minute conversation exercise where no one-word responses like “good” or “fine” are allowed. Equipped with three questions\, the child holding the ball begins the conversation\, passing the ball to his partner as she begins her response. Like good conversation\, the ball should be passed back and forth. \n  \n“Your Digital first impression is as impactful as your face to face first impression\,” de Muyshondt said\, and parents should teach their children to be “safe\, savvy\, and independent in the virtual world.” She emphasized the need for conversations between parents and children about the rules or “playbook” for digital life and the need to be proactive “before anything goes wrong.” Each family’s rules will be different\, but parents should know about their children’s online activity and children should be clear about their parents’ expectations\, be it knowledge of their passwords or the apps they download for their phones. She advises families to discuss the kinds of photos that are appropriate for posting\, how often it’s appropriate to post\, and how much time can be spent on devices. “Digital contracts are a good way to begin communicating with your kids about going online\,” she said. And it’s important for parents to teach their children that what we say online can live forever. She reminded the audience that the digital world “can turn into a permanent memory bank.” \n  \nEmpathy “is one of the most important traits for anyone to possess\,” and has been identified as one of the five leading traits of leaders across the world\, said Ms. de Muyshondt. Teaching empathy is “incredibly important\,” as is being an empathic listener\, that is\, one who simply listens\, without distraction. She teaches this skill by having her students each tell a three-minute story. Listeners can’t interrupt; they are only allowed to nod\, ask a question for clarification\, or to show engagement. “We have two ears and one mouth\,” she said\, meaning we should talk half as much as we listen. It’s “an incredible gift to be able to listen and show people you really care.” \n  \nIdentifying feelings and expressing them\, specifically when managing friendships\, is another skill Ms. de Muyshondt believes we should teach our children well. With a rubber baloney sandwich Ms. Muyshondt demonstrated the “sandwich technique\,” and how it can be applied to the social quandaries that children encounter. “The bun represents the positives or solutions to a conflict\,” she said\, explaining how the top part of the bun is a positive feeling\, i.e.\, “I treasure our friendship;” the meat of the sandwich is what’s troubling\, “I feel hurt or angry;” and the bottom half of the bun is a positive conclusion\, “How can we resolve this?” It’s an “incredibly effective way to identify and express feelings” that will earn you a receptive audience\, rather than “coming at or accusing someone\,” said Ms. de Muyshondt\, and she urged every parent to “take the time to teach these skills to your children; the investment in time will pay off in spades.” \n  \nSocial skills: They’re necessary to teach\, practice\, and repeat\, and we will use them every day for the rest of our lives. For more information visitwww.socialsklz.com \n 
URL:https://parentsinaction.org/event/mothers-day-benefit-2015/
LOCATION:NY
CATEGORIES:Benefits
ORGANIZER;CN="NYC-Parents In Action":MAILTO:info@parentsinaction.org
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20141113T120000
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20141113T140000
DTSTAMP:20181009T012847Z
CREATED:20180917T211346Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20181009T012847Z
UID:1528-1415880000-1415887200@parentsinaction.org
SUMMARY:Fall Benefit Luncheon
DESCRIPTION:Robin Berman\, MD\, Wows Audience with Wit and Wisdom – Fall Benefit 2014 By Melanie Wells\n  \n“Hate Me Now\, Thank Me Later” – Dr. Robin Berman’s UK book title – succinctly captures the message and tone of her very entertaining presentation to a delighted audience at the NYC-Parents in Action Fall Benefit on November 13. \nDeceptively comedic\, Dr. Berman’s energetic style (and the frequent laughs it drew) actually delivered substantive data and some profound food for thought on what goes into successfully guiding children to confident maturity. In one of her many lively and accessible axioms\, Dr. Berman advised parents: “Be an emotional grown-up. You don’t want your children to be so aware of your needs that they have to swallow their own.” \nDr. Berman’s message begins with the parent\, not the child. She stressed again and again that parents must sit in the driver’s seat. Quoting children (whose voices are not always included with expert advice) Dr. Berman offered excerpts of interviews with kids who turned out to be strong advocates for her message. According to one: “They [parents] say don’t yell but they yell\, they say don’t lie and they lie. It’s not kids who have to change\, it’s the parents.” Kids need a parent firmly in charge\, says Berman\, but that’s not the whole story. \n \nRecalling a parental mantra from her own childhood – “Because I said so” – Berman noted today’s approach has evolved to parenting as a “personal concierge service” for the child. Showing an amusing slide with an aviation cartoon\, Berman threw out an easy-to-grasp take-away: “If you saw a four-year-old in the cockpit – how safe would you feel? You\, not the kids\, fly the plane.” When the laughter subsided\, she noted that though the pendulum must swing\, it shouldn’t go all the way back. She recommended a balance between “because I said so” and handing over the keys to the cockpit. “Honor the feeling but hold the line” is a desirable middle ground. \nBerman stressed that the “how” really matters when parents fly that plane. “Set limits with love\,” she advised\, holding not just the line\, but also “the feeling.” Remember to “empathize with disappointments” even as you enforce limits. Sympathize with your child when he is suffering the consequences of misbehavior. Kids notice everything you do and say\, said Dr. Berman\, adding: “Parenting is a divine invitation to be your best self.” That often simply means keeping empathy\, and love\, in the equation. \nQuoting Freud\, Dr. Berman said it’s “not attention kids seek\, but love.” The way one is made to feel sticks\, she said. “We do not write the story of childhood with a dry-erase board – we write with a permanent sharpie” (Hall of Fame Softball player and coach Sue Enquist). And it’s not only the memory that lasts – good parenting has been shown to actually change the structure of the developing brain. A slide comparing a normal 3-year-old brain with that of an orphan showed a striking difference\, with the brain of the neglected child appearing shrunken. \nBut back to that balancing act – exactly how does one best “hold the line?” Answer: effective discipline. Discipline\, a word from which some parents shy\, really means “to teach\, not shame punish or hit\,” said Dr. Berman. She offered an ABC’s of discipline\, listing five elements of good practice: \n \nA = Be an Ally\, not an adversary. \nB = Take the “Bark/Bite” out of discipline. \nC = Be Calm and Consistent with follow-through. \nD = Discipline yourself before you discipline your child. \nE = Empathize with your child’s feelings – “I get it.” \n  \nTo deliver on each of these while managing self-discipline is a tall order. A strategy key to the task is to “choose your words with grace.” Tone\, delivery and language all matter\, said Dr. Berman\, reminding parents: “Trash the trash talk” – whether the target is the child\, one’s spouse or even one’s ex. Referring to the old adage about sticks and stones\, Dr. Berman suggested the reverse is true – a skinned knee heals and is forgotten\, but “words wound in deep and powerful ways” (Rabbi Steven Leder). Parents should choose a “lovely tone” and the “right words\,” honoring the notion that our treatment of our children will “determine their treatment of themselves” and that “we are the voice in our children’s heads.” \nIf you goof? Dr. Berman acknowledged that no parent ever “gets it right all the time.” She had an antidote ready: The “Mommy Do-Over.” If you say something you didn’t mean\, own your mistake.  The “difference between a scare and a scar is an apology.” Apologies allow parents to model maturity\, get that second chance\, and minimize damage.  Always “follow rupture with repair.” \nBefore closing\, Dr. Berman offered a few more general pointers: \n\n“Super scheduling” is disastrous. Don’t “steal childhood.” Find balance.\nTalk up character and kindness – achievement is not the only value.\nModerate media use – “too much time on apps does not build the best brain.”\nAsk yourself\, “What can I teach my child today?”\nTwo top parental roles are “Moral Compass” and “Soul Guide.” Don’t get bogged down with personal shopper\, chauffeur or chef. Aim high.\n\nDr. Berman left her audience with a touching image: a child’s self-portrait was shown holding hands with a much smaller “mommy\,” and between them ran a cascade of little red hearts. Asked about the drawing\, the child said\, “She looks at me with hearts in her eyes\, and that’s why I’ve grown so big.” Help your child do the same. \n\n\nRobin Berman\, M.D.\, an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA\, is also a founding board member of the Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital at UCLA. She is the author of Permission to Parent: How to Raise Your Child with Love & Limits\, and has appeared on The Today Show and Good Morning America. Her book has been featured in the Washington Post\, the London Times\, and Time Magazine online.  \n \n 
URL:https://parentsinaction.org/event/fall-benefit-luncheon/
LOCATION:NY
CATEGORIES:Benefits
ORGANIZER;CN="NYC-Parents In Action":MAILTO:info@parentsinaction.org
END:VEVENT
BEGIN:VEVENT
DTSTART;TZID=America/New_York:20141112T174500
DTEND;TZID=America/New_York:20141112T200000
DTSTAMP:20181009T012847Z
CREATED:20180917T211138Z
LAST-MODIFIED:20181009T012847Z
UID:1527-1415814300-1415822400@parentsinaction.org
SUMMARY:How to Raise a Drug Free Kid: The Straight Dope for Parents
DESCRIPTION:Substance Abuse: Be A Parent\, Not A Pal by Lisa Huffines\nParents have a lot more power than they may realize to prevent teens from sliding into substance abuse. That was the strong message a sell-out crowd at the Harmonie Club heard on the evening of November 12\, when Joseph A. Califano\, Jr.\, headlined a panel discussion on “How to Raise a Drug Free Kid: The Straight Dope for Parents\,” which is also the title of Califano’s recently updated book. \nCalifano\, who served as United States Secretary of Health\, Education\, and Welfare during the Carter administration\, is a founder of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA)\, which co-sponsored the event with Parents in Action. Serving on the panel with Califano were Drs. Joe Woolston and Claudia Califano\, both of the Yale Child Study Center\, and Dr. Herbert Kleber\, director of the Division of Substance Abuse at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. Dr. Sam Ball\, the newly elected president of CASA and a professor of psychiatry at Yale\, moderated the discussion. \n \nCalifano’s chief message\, both in his opening remarks and in his book\, is that parents often fail to exercise the power they have over their children’s use of illegal substances. They forget\, Califano said\, that their job is to “be a parent\, not a pal.” This is particularly critical with regard to substance abuse\, he said\, because anyone who reaches the age of 21 without abusing drugs or alcohol is virtually “home free” for life. \nPrevention\, according to Califano\, is fairly simple. Parents must be involved in their children’s lives\, and they must set rules and stick to them. Easier said than done\, of course\, in a world where teens are faced with constant difficult decisions\, but the panel recommended a zero-tolerance policy. \nZero tolerance raised questions in the audience; one could almost feel the murmur of objection from listeners\, which could have been articulated as\, “But shouldn’t we be more … realistic?” The panelists clarified: Zero tolerance means saying “I don’t want this in your body” and imposing consequences when the rule is broken. But\, the panelists said\, by all means be realistic in imposing the consequences\, which should be commensurate with the offense – one panelist suggested a reversal of the privilege of freedom that has been abused – but not draconian. The point is to make clear a categorical disapproval of the child’s use of illegal substances\, and to follow through with discipline when these expectations are not met. The excuse that “everybody does it” is not true; there are kids who abstain. Califano points out\, for example\, that three quarters of teens do not smoke pot. \nJoseph A. Califano Jr.\nFor those parents still unsure that zero tolerance is a workable policy\, Califano offered substantial fuel for firmer resolve\, in the form of frightening new science on the substances our children are encountering and the harms these substances can cause. Here are a few salient facts: \n\nAlcohol contributes to the deaths of nearly 2\,000 college students each year.\nWhether you allow your teen a glass of wine with dinner or not will have no impact on whether she chooses to binge drink with friends. Binge drinking is actually even more prevalent in most European countries\, where legal restrictions and cultural barriers to teen drinking are looser\, than it is in the US.\nMarijuana is much stronger than it used to be. Average potency has gone up twelvefold since 1975\, and more than doubled since 2000. And that’s just the average. Marijuana marketed in Colorado under names like “green crack” can be exponentially stronger\, and edibles may contain up to 50 percent THC.\nEdible marijuana is dangerous for another important reason: it can take up to two hours to take effect. When they don’t feel immediate effects\, users decide to take more – easy\, when it looks and tastes like candy — and overdose.\nSynthetic marijuana\, sold legally in many states in gas stations and convenience stores\, can be fatal.\nEven cigarettes are more addictive than they used to be\, according to the Surgeon General.\nContrary to popular belief\, marijuana is addictive. Studies have estimated that nine percent of people who use it become dependent\, and that number grows to 25 to 50 percent for daily users. Teens are more vulnerable to drug dependency than adults. For teens that enter drug treatment\, marijuana is the primary substance of abuse for the overwhelming majority – over 70 percent.\nBecause today’s pot is so strong\, even the weekend user can suffer consequences such as impaired memory during the week.\nThe permanent effects of early drug and alcohol abuse are real. Adults who drank heavily during their teenage years show smaller hippocampi than those who did not. Regular marijuana use lowers adult IQ – even among adults who stopped using at age eighteen — and can trigger serious mental illnesses like schizophrenia in those who are predisposed. Its associations with depression and anxiety are strong as well.\n\nThere is a great deal parents can do\, beyond setting and enforcing firm rules about substance abuse\, to keep their children safe: \n\nImmediately\, discard all unused prescription drugs. Experimentation with opiates has become an upper-middle-class phenomenon\, and users often get these substances at home\, either their own home or a friend’s.\nOpen lines of communication early. Even very young children can benefit from a discussion of family history of substance abuse. Older kids should understand that the more they enjoy their first experiments with drugs or alcohol\, the more susceptible they may be to addiction. That first experience is an important harbinger.\nWatch social media. Children\, even very young children\, are bombarded with glorified images of teens abusing drugs and alcohol. With a few keystrokes anyone can learn how to roll the perfect joint\, or what Ecstasy feels like. These are “dangerous neighborhoods\,” Califano said\, and they require monitoring and discussion.\nIf you discover your child is drinking or using drugs\, don’t dismiss it as age-appropriate experimentation. Each of the panelists commented that they see too many parents in their practices that avoid dealing with a substance abuse issue because they think it will go away on its own. Kleber said the problem is particularly acute among affluent parents. Also\, be aware that the younger siblings of kids who experiment with drugs and alcohol are much more likely to try these substances themselves.\nIf treatment is needed\, family participation is critical. Twelve-step programs and residential treatment facilities have poor success rates for teens. All agreed that it’s essential to get families intensively involved in treatment\, and that sending the child away for treatment generally doesn’t serve this need.  
URL:https://parentsinaction.org/event/how-to-raise-a-drug-free-kid-the-straight-dope-for-parents/
LOCATION:NY
CATEGORIES:Benefits
ATTACH;FMTTYPE=image/jpeg:https://parentsinaction.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Drug-Free-Kid-3.jpg
ORGANIZER;CN="NYC-Parents In Action":MAILTO:info@parentsinaction.org
END:VEVENT
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